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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Makes Millions Selling Chicken Coops to Calgary Yuppies

September 11, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Abe Koop of Linden, Alberta has capitalized on a strange new trend among Calgary yuppies: backyard chicken coops. Since the trend of raising your owns chickens caught on in Calgary, like, three weeks […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Census Data Identifies ‘English mixed with Plautdietsch and a bit of regular German mixed in yet’ as Most Popular Language in Winkler

September 7, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Recently released figures from Stats Canada show that English with a sprinkling of Low and High German is the most common mother tongue in the RM of Winkler yet once. “Oh, jauma, they […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck Return with New Radio Show ‘Saturday Afternoon Meddachschlop at the Opera’

September 6, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Even though most of their fellow Mennonites were too busy mucking the stalls most weekends to notice, for decades opera radio in Canada was dominated by Howard Dyck and Ben Heppner, both long-time […]

The Daily Bonnet

Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg

September 4, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Janzens have just sold their modest 1100 sq. foot bungalow in Abbotsford and are using the funds to live like kings the rest of their lives in Winnipeg. “Even when you factor […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Return from European Vacation with a Few New Habits

September 2, 2022 Andrew

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS This summer Henry Bueckert, 71, and his son Jack, 45, decided it was about time to visit the place where their ancestors came from, but little did they know, however, that they’d come […]

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