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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Girls Have Got Those Old ‘Back to Home School’ Blues

August 28, 2022 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE It’s back to home school time for Bethany, Anne, Erin, Susie, Sally, Melissa, and Taylor Friesen of Henderson, Nebraska. The Friesen girls have finished all their back to home school shopping and now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Discovered Camping in Briercrest Parking Lot

August 23, 2022 Andrew

CARONPORT, SK The custodial crew at Briercrest Bible College and Seminary were in quite the state of shock this morning as they found that a whole nest of Mennonite families had pulled over for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Zellers ain’t good enough!” Mennonites Demand Return of SAAN Stores

August 19, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB While there was some level of excitement for the return of Zellers stores, Mennonites across the Prairies are demanding the return of the even cheaper SAAN stores as well. “The only place that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Population Set to Pass 8 Billion ‘Any Day Now’

August 18, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB According to a UN study, the Friesen population is projected to reach 8,000,000,000 within days. The Friesen Population Clock was at 7.97 billion this week and statisticians are on pins and needles waiting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Bureau of Investigations Raids Indiana Mansion

August 14, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN More than a dozen buggies full of angry-looking Mennonites pulled up at the Elkhart, Indiana mansion of former General Mennonite Brethren Conference USA moderator, Donald J. Troyer, this week. “The MBI has credible […]

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