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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag

October 24, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man Glen Loeppky, 64, has just announced he is running for mayor of Vanapag and, if he can get everyone at the Portage Avenue Church to vote for him, believes he has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Buys Fancy New Car to Drive on World’s Shittiest Roads

October 21, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Dave Peters parlayed 40-years of chicken catching money into a sweet new sports car this week, but quickly realized there wasn’t a single decent road in the entire city he could […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

The Daily Bonnet

“He’s a 10 but….” (Mennonite Version)

October 15, 2022 Andrew

I’ve never been on TikTok. I barely know what it is. But, apparently, the entire purpose is to ask people how they’d rate other people on a scale of 1 to 10, yet. Like, my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Resident Becomes First Mennonite Man Ever to Tell His Wife He Loves Her

October 14, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Dick Froese made headlines throughout Leamington this week after he became the first Mennonite man ever to publicly express love for his own wife. “When we got married 40 years ago, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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