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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Starts GoFundMe to Pay for Tips at Chicken Chef

January 31, 2023 Andrew

SCHTAINBACK, MB Area man Timothy Thiessen, 37, has just launched a new GoFundMe campaign to help pay for the more than $75,000 he owes to the serving staff at local restaurants. “I’ve haven’t tipped since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Welcome to The Unger Review

January 26, 2023 Andrew

Do not worry, this is not a church split and we haven’t been sold to the Lutherans. It was just … time for a change. I know how much Mennonites hate change. But I’ve never […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture

January 24, 2023 Andrew

BY: JAKOB PLATT, FALM AXPERT Oba, so the only movies I aver saw were at the Game and Fish Days there in Schteinback or maybe at the John Deere dealer. This makes me the most […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Puts Cousin in the “Frintschoft Zone”

January 11, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was sad news for Danny Dueck, 23, this week, after his second cousin, Maria Dueck, 24, informed him that he had now been relegated to the frintschoft zone. “I could tell he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

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