STEINBACH, MB
When rebranding The Daily Bonnet as The Unger Review a few months ago, author Andrew Unger knew the site needed a new logo and immediately settled upon the most obvious characteristic of his own physical appearance … apart from the overbite and scraggly beard.
“The thick black glasses were an obvious choice,” said Unger from his Steinbach-area mansion. “The problem is now I can never change them.”
Unger had been seen browsing the selection of frames at his local optometrist, but was immediately hauled in by the church board.
“Vanity of vanities,” said Elder Thiessen. “Here in Steinbach we only allow residents to purchase one new pair of frames every 30 years and only if the screws fall out. Besides, if he changes glasses now, he’ll have to let someone else in thick black frames take over the website.”
Resigned to his fate, Unger now wears the glasses 24/7.
“I don’t go anywhere without these,” said Unger. “Showering, shaving, I don’t even take these things off at night.”
In other news, The Unger Review will now be selling plastic novelty Andrew Unger glasses complete with furry eyebrows and moustache.
