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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Clamour to Buy Discount Flowers Two Days After Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Romantic Mennonite men across the Fraser Valley flocked to the mall this afternoon to get their hands on cheap flowers and discount chocolates. “Ahh, honey, you shouldn’t have!” said Mrs. Enns, giving her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Romantic Mennonite Couple Break Tradition with Evening Meddachschlop Tonight

February 14, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesens of Altona are breaking centuries of tradition this evening by having their afternoon nap (ie. meddachschlop) sometime this evening rather than just after lunch. “It’s Valentine’s Day, so my Harold thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Mennonite Memes You May Have Missed

February 10, 2023 Andrew

There are many benefits to signing up for The Unger Review email list, such as never having to lose sleep at night worrying that you might miss the latest fake news story about Mennonites. However, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite College Students Crash ChatGPT by Requesting Too Many Hauerwas Essays All at Once

February 7, 2023 Andrew

HIEBERTFELD, SK Students at Mennonite colleges and universities nearly crashed the system this week by asking ChatGPT to create 5-page essays on the work of Stanley Hauerwas. “We had thousands of requests within minutes. It […]

The Daily Bonnet

It’s Alive! The Daily Bonnet Rises from the Ashes

February 1, 2023 Andrew

Like Frankenstein’s monster or the phoenix rising from the ashes, The Daily Bonnet lives again! Well, actually, it never really died. You see, it’s always been right here. The Daily Bonnet has not gone anywhere; […]

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