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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invade Giant Tiger for Farmer Sausage Sale

January 5, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a formavorscht sale at Giant Tiger spread like wildfire on WhatsApp this week and had Mennonites camping outside the store to get a good deal. “Oba, I didn’t know Giant Tiger […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom to Post Embarrassing Birthday Greeting on Your Facebook Wall This Week

January 4, 2023 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Amanda Funk, 17, of Goshen is fully expecting her mother to post an embarrassing birthday greeting on her Facebook wall this week. “Oh my gosh, here it comes,” said Amanda. “I think she’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blames Loss on Slightly-Raised Staple

January 2, 2023 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Area man Steve Kroeker, 67, of Rosetown went home really grumpy after the annual Kroeker Kjnipsdesh tournament this weekend … and all on account of a raised staple. “That’s the last time we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Daily Bonnet Articles of 2022

January 1, 2023 Andrew

Happy New Year, everyone! I think we’re all hoping 2023 will be better than last year. Still, I’m grateful for the opportunities I had last year to travel in support of my novel Once Removed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Wrapped Up in His 14-in-1 Leatherman Multi-Tool

December 30, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Even though he rarely has any reason to use it, area man Art Peters, 68, never goes anywhere without his 14-in-1 Leatherman multi-tool clipped to his belt. “It’s gotten pretty bad,” said […]

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