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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Pacifist Mennonite Woman Reluctant to Use Flyswatter

October 8, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Flies. Everywhere. However, for area woman Erin Stobbe, 51, the little pests are something of a blessing. “I believe in non-violence,” said Stobbe. “Who am I to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

The Daily Bonnet

CBC Claims Harry Dick is a Real Person

October 4, 2023 Andrew

EGANVILLE, ON Without access to Canadian news on social media, many Mennonites are scrambling to keep up with the comings and goings of all the Harry Dicks out there. “For years I thought Harry Dick, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Taylor Swift Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

October 1, 2023 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Just days after first hooking up with Kansas City football star Travis Kelce, pop star Taylor Swift has fully immersed herself  in Kansas Mennonite culture. “We knew it wouldn’t take long and she’d […]

The Daily Bonnet

David Bergen Discovers Long Lost Twin Brother Maurice Mierau

September 22, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The crowd at the McNally Robinson atrium last night were left in a state of confusion after two men appeared on stage, each bearing an uncanny resemblance to author David Bergen.  “Apparently one […]

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