Mennonite Rundschau Names Taylor Swift ‘Person of the Year’


For decades the Rundschau, in its various iterations, has provided Mennonites with news about what other Mennonites are doing in jantsied or even ditsied. Well, this year, the Rundschau has decided to branch out and award Taylor Swift, of all people, the award of ‘Person of the Year Once Yet’.

“Nah, oba, Taylor Swift as person the year?” exclaimed Mrs. Brandt of Campo 69. “I don’t see what she did to deserve this. What? Just because she’s dating that Travis Kehler fellow?”

Still, editors at the Rundschau have defended their choice of Taylor Swift as the most newsworthy person of the year once yet.

“She’s had a bigger impact than anyone else on the colonies,” said Mr. Fehr. “There was no artist that was secretly listened to behind the barn more often this year than Taylor Swift.”

Fehr also points to the fact that no pop star drew more ire in more angry sermons this year than Swift.

“I know of three Friesens and a Plett who were excommunicated just last week for listening to her,” said Fehr.

Critics believe the publication may have mentioned Taylor Swift just to boost their ratings with young Mennonites.

“And I hear they’re trying to convince Taylor Swift to come to Cuauhtemoc,” said Mrs. Brandt. “Well, good luck with that. The best we can get around here is Taylor Schmidt.”

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