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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couples Compete to Have the Most Grandchildren

April 11, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB It’s a race to the top for the Buhlers and Wiebes this week in the annual Grandchildren Sweepstakes. The top prize, which goes to the couple with the most grandchildren, is a weeklong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Confesses to Meeting His Wife at the Frantz Motor Inn

April 8, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB Area man Christopher Unrau admitted in a candid interview this week that he met his wife Crystal at the bar on the edge of town back in 1987. “For years we kept […]

The Daily Bonnet

Experts Warn Mennonites Against Using Homemade Eclipse Glasses

April 7, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Not wanting to shell out the cash for real eclipse glasses, thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have taken to crafting protective eyewear of their own. Peter Wiens of Leamington, for example, says […]

The Daily Bonnet

Apple Calendar Forces Mennonite Woman to Celebrate Something Called ‘Tartan Day’

April 6, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area woman Erin Loewen, 29, was intrigued this week as she noticed a black dot on today’s date in her iPhone calendar. “Funny, I don’t recall scheduling anything for today,” said Loewen. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

March 31, 2024 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB A misheard radio announcement about National Poetry Month had thousands of chicken and turkey farmers across the RM of Hanover unintentionally showing up to hear poet Sarah Ens read from her latest publication […]

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