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The Daily Bonnet

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Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’

February 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Closeted Mennonite rock fans held a clandestine meeting in the back room at Topper’s Restaurant this week to commemorate 50 years of the seminal 1973 album Jantsied of the Moon by ‘Pink’ Floyd […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Runs Out of Speedos as Temperatures Soar this January

January 31, 2024 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB The weather has been so unseasonably warm this winter, that Mennonite men of all stripes and sizes have been stripping off their overalls and hitting the beach. “Normally I’m ice fishing this time […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Spends Entire Vacation at Timeshare Presentation

January 23, 2024 Andrew

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL The Wiebes of Altona had a lovely two week long timeshare presentation this January. “Ahh, it’s so nice to get away from Manitoba and just relax in this high pressure timeshare pitch,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Friesen Toews

January 21, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After a cold snap in Rosthern, Saskatchewan, Mrs. Anita Friesen has resorted to double and even triple-socking her feet to prevent her Toews from Friesen. “My Toews Froese Fast,” said Friesen. “They were […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Invests Entire Life Savings in Pink Stanleys

January 19, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Cathy Kornelsen, 34, has cashed out her mutual funds and put it all into pink Stanleys and Yetis. “Someday my grandkids will inherit these,” said Kornelsen of her water bottle collection. […]

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