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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Area Woman Buys Out Entire MCC Store for $200

May 30, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local waitress and shopaholic Esther Kornelson, 41, of the Steinbach area, sent the MCC Thrift Store into a temporary panic on Saturday, as she bought out the entire store with last month’s tip […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Starts ‘Citizens Concerned About Absolutely Everything’ Facebook Page

May 29, 2016 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Concerned citizen Kurt Warkentin, 41, of the Mitchell area has started a Facebook group to express his concern about absolutely everything that goes on in the world. “Bill 18, taxes, the new multiplex, refugees […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers

May 26, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite the fact that Steinbach, Manitoba is home to the largest concentration of Goertzens in the world, Chris Goertzen, mayor of Steinbach, and Kelvin Goertzen, local MLA, are having a hard time convincing area […]

The Daily Bonnet

Couple With Joint Facebook Account to Finally Get Married

May 25, 2016 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB Wedding bells are on the horizon for a local couple who have been Facebooking in sin for more than three years. Brenton Friesen and Laurie-Anne Cote of the Ste. Anne area have been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Teen Accused of Showing Too Much Ankle on Snapchat

May 23, 2016 Andrew

SCHANZENBERG, SK Local Mennonite teen Patricia Schmidt, 18, will appear before the church deacon board on Tuesday to defend her immodest post on social media over the weekend. “I was just showing off my new Maddens to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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