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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Finishes ‘Peace Shall Destroy Many’

May 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Ron Wall, 59, has finally finished reading Rudy Wiebe’s Peace Shall Destroy Many, which has been sitting on his nightstand since the late 70s. “I’m not much of a reader,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Strange and/or Creepy Google Search Words That Led People to the Daily Bonnet

May 18, 2017 Andrew

It’s been quite a year at the Daily Bonnet. Thousands of people have visited our site looking for Mennonite satire. A few, however, have been searching for, let’s just say, peculiar things when they’ve come […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Population Completely Unaffected by Global Cyberattack

May 15, 2017 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN While millions of internet-users around the world were afflicted by the largest cyberattack in history this weekend, anthropologists have discovered a small group of people, affectionately known as “Mennonites,” who, for some reason, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Discovers Suspenders Are No Good for Bungee Jumping

May 15, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Local man Darrel P. Friesen, 41, discovered the hard way that your typical Mennonite suspenders from Wal-Mart are completely insufficient to use for bungee jumping. Mr. Friesen somehow managed to survive the fall, but […]

The Daily Bonnet

60-Year-Old Mennonite Woman Decides to Retire from Child-Bearing

May 14, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Now that she’s turned 60, Mrs. Martha Snyder, a Mennonite woman from Lancaster, has decided to hang up her cleats and retire from bearing any more children. “I’ve been pretty active at child-bearing […]

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