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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Boy Sneaks a Glimpse of Stanley Cup Finals from Lutheran Neighbour’s Window

May 30, 2017 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK 10-year-old Mennonite boy Billy Unger of Swift Current was caught watching game one of the Stanley Cup finals through his Lutheran neighbour’s window last night. “Watching television? Oba, nay! And hockey yet!” […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Kleefeld Residents to Spend the Next Six Months Picking Rocks

May 29, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Now that winter is officially over, residents of Kleefeld, Manitoba are back in their fields picking rocks in full force, an activity that is expected to last until the snow flies again this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Becomes Completely Obsessed with Jollibee

May 27, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When Filipino fast food giant Jollibee opened up in Winnipeg, Garth and Pamela Friesen of North Kildonan were lured in by the smiling cartoon bee and the chance to try sweet spaghetti. Since it opened […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Seduce a Mennonite Man (A Guide in Pictures)

May 25, 2017 Andrew

After years of research, with countless false starts and failed attempts, the ladies here at the Daily Bonnet have finally perfected the art of seducing a Mennonite man. Here is a step-by-step guide to winning […]

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