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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Hippies Mistake Steinbach’s Summer Festival for Woodstock

June 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than twenty-thousand dirty hippies descended on Steinbach this weekend for the annual Summer in the City Festival, apparently under the false impression that it was “like the new Woodstock or something.” “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dutch Blitz Players Now Required to Wear Full Body Armour

June 13, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has recently ruled that all Dutch Blitz players in the region must sport full body armour from now on. “This is for your own good. It’s for your own protection,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Takes ‘Naked Anabaptist’ Far Too Literally

June 11, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK Stuart Murray’s book ‘The Naked Anabaptist’ has been monumental in promoting the Anabaptist Christian tradition in the United Kingdom and around the world. For one London man, however, the book has become a little […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Manitoba to Honour City Founder ‘Fonzie’

June 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A 50-metre statue of Happy Days star Henry Winkler is set for construction right across the four-lane highway from Southland Mall in Winkler, Manitoba. “It was about darn time. As Mennonites, it’s very […]

The Daily Bonnet

Courageous Local Man Arrives on Job Site in Japanese Truck

June 10, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local flooring installer Daniel Dick of Steinbach pulled up to the construction site on Tuesday in a 1983 Datsun 720 crew cab, the sight of which caused considerable laughter among his GMC, Chevy […]

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