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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Ruled ‘Too Old’ to be Cruising Main Street

July 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A middle-aged Winkler man was fined on Friday for being ‘forty years too old to be cruising up and down Main Street all evening.’ Lyle Dueck, 65, was caught doing laps with the younger […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Exotic Dancer Thrills Audience by Removing Her Düak

July 10, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARDEN, MB Local woman Mrs. A. Klippenstein, 22, stunned the attendees of a Jack and Jill wedding shower by standing in the middle of the living room and removing her düak. “I’ve heard these wedding showers can […]

The Daily Bonnet

Eastern Mennonite University Gets New Mascot

July 6, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA In an effort to more accurately represent the great Anabaptist tradition of the school, Eastern Mennonite University has decided to replace the Royal’s blue lion with an Australian emu. “We really feel the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Erotic Schekjbenjel Novel Tops NY Times Bestseller List

July 5, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY In what is sure to spur on a wave of imitators, famed erotic novelist Darlene Steele has recently released her first Schekjbenjel romance book. The novel entitled Bedtime in Blumenort debuted at number one on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fills Tub…Then Adds Water

July 3, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Sometimes art imitates life, while other times life imitates art. Well, for one Mennonite lady, it was definitely a case of the latter, because, just as in the classic Mennonite joke, Mrs. Froese completely filled […]

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