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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Caught Shopping on a Sunday

July 13, 2017 Andrew

ST. VITAL, MB Area woman Jessica Epp of Altona decided she’d just rush into the city to pick up a few things at Costco after church this Sunday. Little did she know that the church […]

The Daily Bonnet

Family Reluctantly Sings Another Verse in German to Please Grandma

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Relatives at an Ens family gathering this past week reluctantly obliged their 90-year-old matriarch by singing a verse of ‘Holy God, We Praise Thy Name’ in German even though they had already sung […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Ruled ‘Too Old’ to be Cruising Main Street

July 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A middle-aged Winkler man was fined on Friday for being ‘forty years too old to be cruising up and down Main Street all evening.’ Lyle Dueck, 65, was caught doing laps with the younger […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Exotic Dancer Thrills Audience by Removing Her Düak

July 10, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARDEN, MB Local woman Mrs. A. Klippenstein, 22, stunned the attendees of a Jack and Jill wedding shower by standing in the middle of the living room and removing her düak. “I’ve heard these wedding showers can […]

The Daily Bonnet

Eastern Mennonite University Gets New Mascot

July 6, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA In an effort to more accurately represent the great Anabaptist tradition of the school, Eastern Mennonite University has decided to replace the Royal’s blue lion with an Australian emu. “We really feel the […]

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