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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Seduce a Mennonite Man (A Guide in Pictures)

May 25, 2017 Andrew

After years of research, with countless false starts and failed attempts, the ladies here at the Daily Bonnet have finally perfected the art of seducing a Mennonite man. Here is a step-by-step guide to winning […]

The Daily Bonnet

Team of Paraguayan Mennonites Defeats Canadian National Soccer Team

May 23, 2017 Andrew

ASUNCION, PARAGUAY A group of guys from the Fernheim Colony, Paraguay took on the Canadian men’s national soccer team in Asuncion this past week and came away with a resounding five to nil victory. The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom Doesn’t Realize Her Son’s a Hipster

May 23, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Despite her son showing obvious signs for more than three years now, local mom Dorothy Lepp, 47, still has absolutely no clue her son Aaron is a committed hipster. “When I asked if […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Long List of Chores Still Not Done

May 22, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK At the end of the day on Monday, local family man Menno Peters, 47, was still nowhere near to being finished the long list of chores given to him by his wife Anne […]

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