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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Eastern Mennonite University Gets New Mascot

July 6, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA In an effort to more accurately represent the great Anabaptist tradition of the school, Eastern Mennonite University has decided to replace the Royal’s blue lion with an Australian emu. “We really feel the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Erotic Schekjbenjel Novel Tops NY Times Bestseller List

July 5, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY In what is sure to spur on a wave of imitators, famed erotic novelist Darlene Steele has recently released her first Schekjbenjel romance book. The novel entitled Bedtime in Blumenort debuted at number one on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fills Tub…Then Adds Water

July 3, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Sometimes art imitates life, while other times life imitates art. Well, for one Mennonite lady, it was definitely a case of the latter, because, just as in the classic Mennonite joke, Mrs. Froese completely filled […]

The Daily Bonnet

What Are the 150 Most Significant Moments in Canadian Mennonite History?

June 30, 2017 Andrew

Canada turns 150 years old tomorrow, so the Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of the 150 50 great, and not-so-great, moments in Canadian Mennonite history. These are all real (not satire) and in chronological order. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Report: Cows Don’t Like Being Tipped

June 30, 2017 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK According to a recent study from the University of Saskatoon, cows, particularly Holsteins and Herefords, prefer not to be tipped over on their sides while they sleep. “It’s shocking really,” said study co-ordinator […]

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