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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Co-Workers Caught Having Meddachschlop in the Photocopy Room

June 10, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The rumours about that Thiessen boy and that Klassen girl were confirmed to be true this week after Mrs. Wiebe unlocked the photocopy room and found the two of them having a nice […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Most Creative Mennonite Paints Entire House Builder’s Beige

June 8, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON There’s been a revolution in Mennonite interior design as of late with home owners opting for such vibrant colours as off-white, eggshell and, exclusively for the bold rebel Mennonite type, builder’s beige. “Oba, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Still Waiting for the Rest of the Story from Paul Harvey

June 6, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba are unsure what they’re supposed to make of everything that’s been happening lately and are just waiting for Paul Harvey to explain it all to them in the words […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandkids Horrified as Grandma Reimer Texts “I’m Mennonite AF”

June 5, 2020 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Mrs. Reimer, 68, of Manitoba Colony was very excited to try out the new iPhone she just got and was immediately impressed by how easy it was to use. “You don’t even have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes

May 29, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man Timothy Toews, 36, decided he’d try to earn himself a few minutes of meddachschlop this week and hand-wash a beer glass he’d used earlier in the afternoon. When his wife Amanda got home, […]

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