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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Eager for Thrift Stores to Reopen

May 1, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Froese is beside herself waiting for her local MCC store to reopen in the next little while. During the time it was closed, Mrs. Froese had no place to donate all her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dolphins Return to Southern Manitoba for First Time in Centuries

April 30, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB A pod of playful dolphins was spotted in the Red River near Morris this week, the first time they’ve visited the area since Mennonite settlers arrived in the 1870s. “They’re cropping up everywhere,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Gives Husband Stunning New Haircut

April 29, 2020 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Not wanting to wait until the barber shop opens back up, local man Bill Fehr, 73, was so desperate for a haircut that he got his wife Lois to do it. The results […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Low German Words Used on the Daily Bonnet

April 23, 2020 Andrew

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of […]

The Daily Bonnet

CBS Airs New Show ‘The Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’

April 22, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN With borders shut and flights grounded across the globe, CBS has cobbled together a new show called ‘Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’ which features the Epp family of Mountain Lake, Minnesota and is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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