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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Gives Husband Stunning New Haircut

April 29, 2020 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Not wanting to wait until the barber shop opens back up, local man Bill Fehr, 73, was so desperate for a haircut that he got his wife Lois to do it. The results […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Low German Words Used on the Daily Bonnet

April 23, 2020 Andrew

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of […]

The Daily Bonnet

CBS Airs New Show ‘The Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’

April 22, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN With borders shut and flights grounded across the globe, CBS has cobbled together a new show called ‘Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’ which features the Epp family of Mountain Lake, Minnesota and is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Wonder Oil Prices Close in the Negative for First Time in History

April 21, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When the bell rang to end trading at the Winker Wonder Oil Exchange on Monday afternoon, Mrs. Schellenberg and the others stood in disbelief. “I was in shock! Minus thirty-eight dollars for a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’

April 20, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Enns has accused Mr. Ens of the greatest crime a Mennonite can commit: laziness. Evidence of this ‘sheer laziness’ is the fact that Mr. Ens decides to spell his name with only […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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