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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

No One Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame Except for this One Mennonite Dude from Rosenhof

January 28, 2021 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY Move over Curt Schilling. For the second time in the last ten years, the Baseball Hall of Fame has decided that absolutely no one except for a Warkentin from Rosenhof was worthy of induction. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer

January 27, 2021 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Mennonite Career Fair of Southern Alberta met in Linden this week to offer graduating students a wide range of job options: preacher or, even, farmer. “First we get the young people to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Completely Hooked on The Mennodalorian

January 25, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB At offices across Winkler, the latest episode of The Mennodalorian is always the hottest topic around the socially-distanced water cooler every week. One Winkler couple has taken things a little too far. “I’ve […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts

January 24, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the Winnipeg Jets announced they had traded superstar right winter Patrik Laine to some team in Ohio, Mennonite Jets fans began fashioning their old Laine jerseys into quilts. “Gotta make some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Library Censors ‘Dyck Picture Book’

January 22, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB A family history book dedicated to Dycks has been censored and withdrawn from circulation by the local library this week after receiving dozens of complaints. “Oba, I don’t need to see three hundred […]

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