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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Local Author Stays Covid Safe with Ingenious Stick and Pen Combo

May 28, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Unable to host any in-person book signings since his novel Once Removed was released, local author Andrew Unger has created an ingenious new invention that should solve the problem. “People will finally start […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

The Daily Bonnet

Warman, Saskatchewan to be Renamed Peaceman

May 25, 2021 Andrew

PEACEMAN, SK City council of Warman, Saskatchewan has voted 4 -2 in favour of renaming the town Peaceman in honour of the town’s pacifist Mennonite community. “For decades our town’s been getting a bad wrap. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes Conscientious Objector After Watching Too Many Hockey Fights

May 24, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Eby of Kitchener was very excited to watch the Leafs game this afternoon, but after binging on the NHL for the past week, has decided he’s boycotting the spot entirely from now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Sod Huts Make a Comeback after Surge in Lumber Prices

May 20, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Inspired by the semlin at the Mennonite Heritage Village, thousands of sod huts have cropped up around southern Manitoba over the past few months. “The price of lumber is outrageous,” said brand new […]

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