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Unger the Influence

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

Unger Suspicion

Desperate to Woo Trudeau Supporters, Maxime Bernier Renames New Party ‘The Peoplekind Party of Canada’

October 11, 2019 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Eager to move up a bit in the polls, sixth-place Maxime Bernier has decided a little tweaking of his party name just might do the trick. “I can’t figure it out. For some […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister

September 30, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Former Manitobans Now Outnumber Albertans in Alberta

September 23, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A new report from the government of Alberta indicates that former Manitobans are the largest identifiable group in the province. “There are more ex-pat Manitobans than Alberta-born Albertans,” said premier Jason Kenney. “We’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche

September 20, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A shocking new video went viral this week after it appeared to show a politician not being a total douche. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Mrs. Kehler of Ottawa. “The guy […]

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