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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Danielle Smith Announces $334 Billion Plan to Drill for Essential Oils

November 13, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has just announced a new $334 billion investment in essential oil-drilling, contingent on Alberta getting out of the Canada Pension Plan. “We can handle your pension money. Just trust […]

Unger the Influence

Attention-Starved Trudeau Responds by Munching on McDonald’s Apple Pie During Interview

October 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After his political rival Pierre Poilievre went viral this week for eating an apple during an interview, Prime Minister Trudeau decided he’d face reporters with something even better – a McDonald’s Baked Apple […]

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Mennonites Excited to Finally Have a Wiebe in the Cabinet

October 19, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Wiebes from across Manitoba gathered at various Chicken Chef locations this week to celebrate the ascendancy of Concordia MLA Matt Wiebe to the provincial cabinet. “We’ve had a Goertzen in the cabinet and […]

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House Speaker Rota Utterly Bewildered During ‘Axis and Allies’ Game

September 26, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Moments after resigning his post as Speaker of the House, Liberal MP Anthony Rota was spotted in sweatpants at the weekly ‘Axis and Allies’ games night held at Justin Trudeau’s bachelor pad. “Wait, […]

Unger the Influence

Manitoba Plans to Have 2 Million Friesens By the Year 2030

September 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Conservative leader Heather Stefanson has laid out her aggressive plan to increase Manitoba’s population to 2 million people by the year 2030 using the province’s most efficient reproduction machine: Friesens. “Really, I’m just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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