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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

June 11, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger & Thirst

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sucks Down Fifty Sugar Cubes During Funeral Reception

June 2, 2019 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Mr. Buhler, 71, set a new Mennonite record after consuming more than fifty sugar cubes dipped in coffee at the funeral reception of Mr. Kehler. “You should have seen that man. Sugar cube […]

Unger & Thirst

Dentyne Gum Fails to Mask Aroma of Cigarettes on Mennonite Woman’s Breath

May 21, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Pastor Dave busted more than three dozen members of his youth group this past week after they naively thought a few sticks of Dentyne gum would cover up the smell of their Marlboros. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s ‘Margarine Tarts’ Fail to Impress

May 16, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Things did not go well at the bake sale on Sunday after Mrs. Penner decided she’d alter a centuries old recipe for Mennonite butter tarts by making them out of margarine. “Nah, that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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