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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb

October 2, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Corny Wall, 21, of Swift Current consumed stick after stick of raw rhubarb this weekend all in an effort to win the heart of his crush Lina Kornelsen. “Oba, if Lina doesn’t […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Illegal Margarine Lids

September 29, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona police raided Mrs. Friesen’s pantry this past week in what is believed to the West Reserve’s largest ever margarine lid bust. “I’m innocent!” screamed Mrs. Friesen as she was dragged out of […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Fills Water Tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup

September 27, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just in the time for the last roll kuchen weekend of the season, the city of Steinbach has filled the water tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup. “Oba, I’m looking forward to my weekly […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”

September 26, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Earl Driedger, 61, of St. Catharines has been downing cups of beef gravy for years, much to the chagrin of his wife Brenda. “Just because you can drink it, doesn’t mean you […]

Unger & Thirst

How to Drink Whiskey: A Guide for Mennonites

September 24, 2021 Andrew

Whiskey is back! Even Mennonites are getting in on the action. However, to those who may be new to Mennonite whiskey drinking, we offer this handy guide. How to drink whiskey: a guide for Mennonites! […]

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