Glass at Edge of Table Patiently Awaits Refill


Local man Andy Koop, 81, placed his empty glass at the edge of the table at the Hamm Dawg Haus this Sunday in an effort to alert serving staff of his urgent need for more Papsi.

“You see, what you’ve gotta do is put it right on the edge,” explained Koop. “The closer you get to the edge without falling over, the more likely you are to get more Papsi.”

Koop said he was inspired by a childhood screening of Rebel Without a Cause, in particular the scene were drivers are trying to see who can get closest to the edge of the cliff without driving over.

“Sometimes I perch it on the edge of the table before I’ve even got to the bottom of the cup,” said Koop. “That way by the time I’m actually finished, I’ve already got a new Papsi in hand.”

Koop says in all his years of bottomless Papsi-drinking he’s never broken a glass, although it got pretty close one time in 1987 at the Jolly Miller.

“I thought I’d crunched the numbers and did the math,” said Koop, “but I guess I just had too much of that glass hanging over the edge. Thankfully the Jolly Miller employed nothing but the most agile waitresses.”

Koop said that if the glass on the edge technique doesn’t work, he recommends swirling the ice cubes with a straw and making loud slurping noises.

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