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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Man with Two Doses of Schmaunt Fat Forced to Mix it Up with Rhubarb Sauce

January 12, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Despite receiving two helpings of vereniki with schmaunt fat, local man Michael Wall, 41, was told all they had left was rhubarb sauce for his third go around this week. “They said they’re […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Carries on Longstanding Mennonite Tradition of Licking the Beaters

January 1, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Darryl Klassen, 43, of Swift Current is undergoing surgery this weekend to untangle his tongue from his mother’s hand mixer. “It’s been a tradition ever since I was five years old,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Mennonite Man Opts for Schintjefleesch Over Foarmaworsht

December 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Colin Berg is being hailed as “Steinbach’s most adventurous eater” this week after he went out on a limb and ordered the ham rather than the farmer sausage to accompany his vereniki. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confuses Päpanät for Kjnipsers

December 24, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local retired teacher Mark Reimer has spent his retirement days reconnecting with his Mennonite heritage. Not only has he written his debut novel The Four Horsemen, which follows the long-standing Mennonite literary tradition […]

Unger & Thirst

“Den of Iniquity” Filled with Cool Nice People Drinking Beers and Appreciating Art

December 16, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The opening of Steinbach’s first ever “den of iniquity” this week drew quite the crowd of pleasant folks sipping craft beer and appreciating art at The Public Brewhouse and Gallery on Main Street. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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