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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Area Man Tries Real Mexican Coke for the First Time

October 15, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB For decades, Steinbach man Dave Harder, 43, had been content to drink inferior Canadian or American Coca Cola. That all changed this week, however, as Harder finally got a taste of real Mexican […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby

October 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby. “Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Using ‘Hunky Bill’s Perogie Maker’

October 3, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Anna Harms, 51, of Grunthal has been caught “cheating” with Hunky Bill. The cheating was of great concern to her husband Darrel, who always assumed her perogies were hand made. “And then I […]

Unger & Thirst

Residents Asked to Cut Down Rhubarb Plants to Stop Attracting Hungry Mennonites

September 29, 2023 Andrew

BANFF, AB After 51-year-old Harry Fast was discovered in Mrs. Fehr’s rhubarb patch this weekend, residents of Banff, Alberta are being asked to remove plants that will attract hungry Mennonites. “It’s simply not safe to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Introduces New ‘Dunkel’ Schmaunt Fat

September 27, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In what has already been hailed as the greatest innovation in Mennonite culinary history, area woman Lois Braun, 57, introduced a new dark, more robust schmaunt fat at the church potluck this week. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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