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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Guy Fieri Quits Show After Discovering Mennonite Food

June 23, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Frost-tipped Food Network star Guy Fieri has decided to quit his popular ‘Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives’ show after consuming a scrumptious meal in a Mennonite home this past weekend that, in his words, […]

Unger & Thirst

Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water

June 21, 2017 Andrew

BLUMSTEIN, MB Decades after fluoride was controversially added to the drinking water of many English communities, the small town of Blumstein, Manitoba has become the first in the region to pump Wonder Oil into the […]

Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Prices Soar to Record Highs

June 20, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY When the New York Stock Exchange ended trading on Monday, the price of schmaunt fat closed at a record high of $123.21 a barrel, smashing the previous record of just over $115. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sells Tomato Juice Miracle Cure

June 16, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB They’re calling him ‘Tomato Juice Penner’ and people are coming from miles around to purchase his ‘miraculous’ tomato juice elixir. “Step right up, folks. Step right up. Have I got the stuff for […]

Unger & Thirst

A Daily Bonnet Travel Guide to Manitoba Mennonite Country

June 15, 2017 Andrew

A lot of people ask me, “Oba, Andrew, you write all these things about Steinbach, but just what is it really like?” Well, why don’t you come find out for yourself? It’s a fabulous place. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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