The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

FDA Approves the Sale of ‘Mennonite Viagra’

June 14, 2017 Andrew

SILVER SPRING, MD After rigorous testing in a secret facility somewhere near Harrisonburg, Virginia, the United States Food and Drug Administration has approved the sale of a controversial new pharmaceutical product called ‘Mennonite Viagra.’ The […]

Unger & Thirst

Lemonade Stand Money Goes Directly to Dad

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Like all money generated by any member of the Wiens family, the income produced by Susie and Danny’s lemonade stand this weekend went directly to their father. “If they’re living under my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Accidentally Consumes a Vegetable

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Klass Klassen, 53, was rushed to the hospital this past week after it was discovered he had inadvertently consumed two carrots and a few florets of broccoli. “Mennonites are highly allergic […]

Unger & Thirst

Coca-Cola Adds Mennonite Names to Bottles

June 8, 2017 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA According to tradition, the preferred cola of Mennonites has always been Pepsi (accompanied by a Ravel bar). In an effort to win over some of the Mennonite market share, Coca-Cola has recently introduced a series […]

Unger & Thirst

Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners a Big Hit in Mennonite Country

June 7, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at Altona gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 122 123 124 … 140 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Thrift Store Confuses Shot Glasses for Candle Holders
    October 28, 2017
  • We Have Now Officially Entered a Peculiar Alternate Universe Where Mel Gibson Makes Movies About Conscientious Objectors
    November 4, 2016
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • British Columbia Still Counting their Vogts
    October 21, 2024
  • Mennonite Writer Starts Lucrative New Business Proofreading Protest Signs
    March 4, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved