The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

5 Alcoholic Beverages You Can Easily Sneak Past the Elders

March 17, 2018 Andrew

Mennonite elders aren’t usually too keen on drinking, and even though they’ve got no Scripture to back it up, they punish offenders very severely for even the slightest infraction. For example, just last week, Mrs. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Buy Naming Rights to New Edmonton Arena

March 14, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB A group of wealthy Mennonites have honoured their favourite summer treat by purchasing the naming rights to the downtown Edmonton arena. Beginning today, the Oilers’ arena will officially be known as Rogers Golden […]

Unger & Thirst

A Modest Proposal for the Elimination of Faspa

March 11, 2018 Andrew

BY: JOHAN SIEMENS It is a melancholy object to walk the streets of Steinbach on a Sunday afternoon, to find church after church crowded with Mennonites of various denominations sitting at round tables and consuming […]

Unger & Thirst

Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town

March 10, 2018 Andrew

ALT-BERGFELD, MB After a massive expansion to the local liquor store, residents of a small Mennonite town are now admitting that it’s the “largest church in town.” “More people stop by to pick up a two-four of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling

March 5, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The South Chilliwack Gospel Mennonite Church has banned members from rolling up the rim at Tim Hortons, as it violates the church’s strict teaching against games of chance. The church took the action […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 104 105 106 … 134 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • For Dessert Today? Sugar Cubes Dipped in Coffee
    June 5, 2023
  • Mennonite Church to Host First Annual ‘Quiet in the Land’ Death Metal Festival
    January 15, 2020
  • Theology Prof Accidentally Lectures Physics Class
    August 31, 2024
  • MrBeast Offers Contestants $606,000 to Live Like a Mennonite for One Week
    June 27, 2023
  • Chaos in Steinbach as No One Knows if Halloween is Tonight or Not
    October 30, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved