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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

A List of Mennonite Fortune Cookie Messages

January 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A Chinese restaurant in the Steinbach area is offering a local twist on the traditional fortune cookie. Instead of general message of good fortune, the cookies will now contain more distinctly Mennonite fortunes. […]

Unger & Thirst

Ancient Zwieback Recipe Discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls

January 22, 2018 Andrew

HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying

January 21, 2018 Andrew

FARGO, ND Poor Diana, a third year NDSU student and part-time server at Chili’s, was left standing at the table for half an hour holding a Mix & Match trio of steak, shrimp and chicken […]

Unger & Thirst

Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread

January 20, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC Having heard something of this whole “Tide Pod craze” from her grandchildren, Mrs. Neufeld of Yarrow, 69, decided to spice up the faspa last Sunday by adding a delightful selection of laundry detergent […]

Unger & Thirst

Top Local Chefs to Stage Fancy Dinner on Frozen Blumenort Lagoon

January 19, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Manitoba’s most famous chefs will be setting aside the comforts of high-end Winnipeg restaurants this winter for a three week pop-up restaurant on the frozen Blumenort lagoon. ‘COOKED: Blumenort’ will feature all the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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