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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Unmarried Couple Caught Holding Hymnal Together

May 15, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA An unmarried couple at South Fresno Mennonite are facing intense scrutiny after they were caught grasping opposite corners of the same hymnal during a rousing rendition of ‘Blessed Assurance’ this past Sunday. The […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One

April 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Fresh out of seminary, Pastor Dave was really excited about his new Associate Pastor position at East Mennonite until he discovered first hand just how frugal the church board can be. Dave was […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Quartet Breaks Up After Discovering Tenor is Lutheran

April 28, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB One of Manitoba’s top Mennonite quartets, The Gospel Bottom Boys, has decided to call it quits after more than thirty years together when it was discovered that tenor Bennie Schmidt was actually a […]

Unger Conviction

Church Sets Record With 7 Hour Welcome Time

April 20, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When the pastor of South Winkler Gospel Mennonite Church decided to ask the congregation to turn around and heartily welcome the folks around them, little did he know they would break a long-standing […]

Unger Conviction

Local Old Colony Church Experiments with Overhead Projector

April 19, 2018 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The local Old Colony church is making waves in Reinland this week after purchasing a used overhead projector from the MCC. After singing hymns out of the hymnal for centuries, the church is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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