Mennonite Quartet Breaks Up After Discovering Tenor is Lutheran


One of Manitoba’s top Mennonite quartets, The Gospel Bottom Boys, has decided to call it quits after more than thirty years together when it was discovered that tenor Bennie Schmidt was actually a Lutheran.

“I just can’t believe it. All these years he was a closet Lutheran,” said quartet leader and alto Timmy Dueck. “How on earth did he sing ‘Wade in the Water’ or ‘Down to the River to Pray’ with a straight face?”

Schmidt had been hiding his Lutheranism from the rest of the quartet since 1987.

“I’m surprised no one noticed my Plautdietsch deficiency before,” said Schmidt. “It’s not all bad, though. The one good thing about leaving the quartet is that I’ll never have to pretend to like cracklings and toast again.”

Schmidt plans to start his own Lutheran quartet called Martin’s Music Makers. He plans to hold auditions this fall.

“I’m not too picky,” said Schmidt. “As long as you were baptized sometime before you turned ten or eleven I’ll take you.”

The remaining Gospel Bottom Boys plan to find a replacement tenor, this time with strict guidelines.

“We’re not taking any chances this time,” said Dueck. “If you can’t recite the Schleitheim Confession from memory you don’t stand a chance.”

The new Mennonite quartet, which hopes to be ready for the Christmas quartet season, is going to be known as Luther’s Folly.

(photo credit: leadfoot/CC)

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