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Unger Conviction

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Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools

March 15, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Yoder family of Goshen is just one of dozens of Mennonite families who found themselves in the midst of the largest Sunday school admissions scandal in Mennonite church history. From 2015-2018, the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Give Up for Lent Since Everything Fun is Already Forbidden

March 8, 2019 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Mennonites across North America were baffled this week as other Christians were doing something called “Lent” for forty days. “Apparently they give up something pleasurable to God for forty days,” said Andrew Miller […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency

February 28, 2019 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Popular Mennonite minister Johan Schantz, 72, of Elmira, Ontario has been offered a two-year residency at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. The new show will feature sermons, communion, and a nightly […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture

February 25, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Under the leadership of controversial minister and self-proclaimed prophet Claas Epp, a fringe Mennonite sect from Southern Ontario has walked all the way from Leamington to Toronto to await the rapture. “My cousin […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Seminary Student Can’t Figure Out All This German

February 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Future Mennonite pastor Dave Unger, a student at the Winkler Anabaptist Seminary, is having real trouble in his New Testament class, especially after students were required to read the text in its original […]

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