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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture

February 25, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Under the leadership of controversial minister and self-proclaimed prophet Claas Epp, a fringe Mennonite sect from Southern Ontario has walked all the way from Leamington to Toronto to await the rapture. “My cousin […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Seminary Student Can’t Figure Out All This German

February 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Future Mennonite pastor Dave Unger, a student at the Winkler Anabaptist Seminary, is having real trouble in his New Testament class, especially after students were required to read the text in its original […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Reluctantly Keeps Tacky Jesus Souvenir For Thirty Years

January 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Sarah Plett has reluctantly held onto the tacky glass Jesus statue that her Uncle and Aunt brought back for her from a trip to Brazil they took in 1987. “I was only […]

Unger Conviction

‘Holy Kiss’ in Mennonite Church Lobby Becomes Total Make-out Session

January 24, 2019 Andrew

HOCHSTADT, MB When Ms. Fehr greeted Mr. Martens with a holy kiss in the church lobby this past Sunday, the two discovered they had a spark and began to totally make-out beneath the coat rack. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Attends English Service After Sleeping In and Missing German Service

January 19, 2019 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB For the first time in her life, Mrs. Johan Klassen of Rosenort attended a “worldly church service” in the English language. After a late night of canasta with the girls, Mrs.  Klassen slept […]

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