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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Shoppers Seek ‘Bargain Basement’ Prices

October 26, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Teichroeb family has just moved to town and have been church shopping for the past several months. At the rate of one church a week, they will have visited every church in […]

Unger Conviction

Church Meeting Delayed Four Hours Waiting for a Seconder

October 23, 2019 Andrew

DALLAS, OR The annual church meeting in Dallas, Oregon went into overtime this past Sunday after everyone was too reserved and shy to second the motion to accept the minutes from last year’s meeting. “As […]

Unger & Thirst

Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month

October 15, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Olive Garden locations across the continent have been running short on gift cards after every single pastor received $20 in Olive Garden money for Pastor Appreciation Month. “At first we weren’t sure […]

Unger Conviction

$10 Billion Business Deal Inked in Mennonite Church Lobby

October 9, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZ, SK Mr. Thiessen and Mr. Klassen just signed a massive $10 billion business deal in the local Mennonite church lobby this past Sunday. The deal is the third largest business deal ever signed in […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Forms Committee Responsible for Forming Other Committees

October 3, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The South Waterloo Mennonite Church has just formed a radical new committee whose sole responsibility is forming other committees. The new Committee Committee is made up of a select group of committee members […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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