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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens

December 16, 2019 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Absolutely nothing happened after local church-goer Billy Friesen, 42, greeted a stranger on the street with a hearty ‘Merry Christmas’ this past week. “I don’t get it,” said Friesen. “I was really hoping […]

Unger Conviction

Elders Warn that Morden, Manitoba is Full of ‘Aufjefollna’ Mennonites

November 17, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Cousin Pieta of Reinland was spotted cruising down the highway to Morden this past week and was immediately branded as ‘aufaulle‘ by the village purity committee. “Diestchlaund, that cousin Pieta, heading to Morden […]

Unger Conviction

Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon

November 14, 2019 Andrew

HUTCHINSON, KS Pastor Dave at South Hutchinson Mennonite was right in the middle of extolling the virtues of long dresses and suspenders, when Alexis Pankratz, 22, rolled her eyes and yelled “ok, boomer!” as loud […]

Unger Conviction

Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel

November 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON For more than fifty years the vacant space on Mr. Funk’s lapel has been quiet and peaceful. Sadly, however, a war for territorial supremacy has recently broken out between a poppy and an […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’

November 10, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK West Saskatoon Mennonite Church’s Peace Sunday service was interrupted right in the middle of the responsive reading after the Wiebes came in late and demanded a spot in a pew occupied by the […]

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