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olympics

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Finishes Dead Last in Olympic Breakdancing Competition

August 11, 2024 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO After a disastrous last place finish at Paris 20224, Team Mexico says this is the last time they will let a Mennonite woman onto the national breakdancing team. “I’m not sure what they […]

Unger & Thirst

French Pole Vaulter Signs Farmer Sausage Endorsement Deal

August 9, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE A mishap on the pole vault may have cost Anthony Ammirati a medal, but he’s more than made up for it in lucrative endorsement deals. Just this week, Ammirati inked a $12 million […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Disappointed She Didn’t Find Out About the ‘Hammer Throw’ Sooner

August 6, 2024 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Area dairy farmer Ruth Plett of Morris, Manitoba just discovered there was an Olympic event called “hammer throw” this afternoon after Canadians Camryn Rogers and Ethan Katzberg each came home with gold medals. […]

Unger Games

Olympic Village Modelled After Mennonite Heritage Village, Athletes to Sleep in Sod Huts

August 3, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The Paris Olympics just-so-happens to coincide with Pioneer Days at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach and, so, to give Olympians that authentic Mennonite experience, all athletes are expected to sleep in a […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer

August 1, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE With two golds and a silver so far at the 2024 games, Summer McIntosh has captured the hearts of the nation, including the Canadian Mennonite population who have renamed a popular borscht after […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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