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olympics

Unger Suspicion

New Olympic-size Swimming Pool Opens in Winnipeg

April 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A regulation Olympic-size swimming pool, complete with diving board, and a 24/7 on-duty lifeguard has opened up in the middle of a busy street in Winnipeg this week. “We’re really excited about this […]

Unger Games

All 3 Remaining Commonwealth Countries Guaranteed Medals in Every Sport

August 3, 2022 Andrew

BIRMINGHAM, UK All 3 or whatever remaining Commonwealth countries will be guaranteed a medal in every event this summer as they compete to see who’s the best at sports amongst these several nations. “More than […]

Unger Games

Winter Olympics Come and Go Without a Single Person Noticing

February 27, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA According to sources there was a winter Olympics earlier this month, but not a single person on the face of the planet was aware of it. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Watching Figure Skating

February 15, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Noah Eby of Kitchener had to quickly change the channel and pretend to be watching politicians yell at each other, after his wife Mary walked in on him during the pair skating […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites Excited for “Vinta Olympics”

February 4, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA Mannanites around the globe are excited for the 2022 Vinta Olympics, which they hope will be a nice distraction from “all the political stuff yet.” The 2022 event will feature a number of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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