VICTORIA, BC
After the BC conservatives elected Lorne Doerkson as leader recently, voters in the province will now have the chance to pick a Russian Mennonite or a Swiss one.
“Of course, who knows if either of them is really a Mennonite,” said Dave Siemens of Abbotsford. “But I’m sure the folks at the archives will consult the genealogies and get to the bottom of it.”
Based on his surname, Doerkson appears to be of Low German Mennonite stock, while Premier David Eby is suspected of having Swiss Mennonite background.
“For once, those two options will square off head to head,” said Siemens. “For too long we’ve kept our distance. But now we’ll be able to settle this rivalry once and for all.”
The competition between Doerkson and Eby will include Dutch Blitz, crokinole, and who can fill the most sausages in an hour.
“May the best Mennonite win,” said Siemens. “I think we’ll also see if either one of them might be faking it.”
They’ll also both be asked to sing Praise God from Whom All Blessing Flow and whoever chooses the wrong melody will be sent on the first train to Saskatchewan.
