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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Public Uproar As Thousands of Refugees Descend on Western Canada

February 22, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Newspapers throughout Western Canada have published editorials and letters in strong opposition to the wave of refugees who desire to come into Canada. Here are a few things that people have said: “We […]

Unger Conviction

Fists Fly After Loewen Family Sits in Penner Family Pew

February 21, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Fifteen members of the Loewen family and twenty-three Penners were hospitalized this past week after a brawl broke out at the local Mennonite church. The brawl seems to have been initiated after four […]

Unger Suspicion

Kurt Cobain Would be the Same Age as Your Uncle Peter Today

February 20, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Legendary Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain would be fifty years old today, which is exactly the same age as your Uncle Peter who works at the local chicken hatchery. “I always thought of Uncle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites

February 20, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Superstore Lot Fills Up With Liquor Mart Customers

February 19, 2017 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB Every evening the local Superstore parking lot fills up with dozens of vehicles belonging to people who don’t want their cars seen in the Liquor Mart parking lot. “I park at Superstore, run a few […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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