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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Young Man Swears Off Farmer Sausage When He Discovers the Truth About Natural Casings

February 27, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Herman Loeppky, 21, of the La Crete area took to Facebook on Thursday to express his revulsion upon learning just exactly what his Mom had been cooking him every Monday, Thursday, and Friday […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adventurous Mennonite Couple Discovers a Whole World Beyond St. Vital Centre

February 26, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Jakob and Helena Funk of Lowe Farm were recently shocked to discover that there was more to the provincial capital than a suburban mall. “For decades we’ve just been driving between […]

Unger Suspicion

Knels and Annie Krahn Make Their Oscar Picks

February 26, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonite television and movie critics, Knels and Annie Krahn of Aylmer, are back to help you fill out your Oscar ballot for the 89th Academy Awards. Best Picture  Knels: “Da two frontrunners are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Totally Wastes Her Allotted Fifteen Minutes of Internet Time

February 25, 2017 Andrew

SCHWAGERSHOF, MB This past Tuesday, local Mennonite woman, Alice Braun, completely wasted her daily allotment of Internet time by looking up chicken salad recipes. “I generously allow her a full quarter of an hour to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Earns Place in Heaven after Attending Evening Service

February 25, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local man Henry Harder has guaranteed himself a spot in Heaven after successfully attending those really boring Sunday evening church services for twenty years straight. “I’ve made it! I’ve finally made it!” shouted […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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