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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving

August 18, 2017 Andrew

BERLIN, OH The elder board at East Berlin Mennonite Church met this week to discuss the implementation of a few new rules regarding the operation of motor vehicles and/or the consumption of alcohol. The new […]

Unger Suspicion

Frat Boys Disappointed with Visit to Intercourse, Pennsylvania

August 17, 2017 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Dozens of lecherous Pennsylvania frat boys are upset and considering litigation after a visit to the small Amish town of Intercourse did not go as expected. “I truly feel like we were misled,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Disaster Volunteers to Rebuild Severely Damaged Trump Administration

August 16, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Whether it’s hurricanes, earthquakes, or wildfires, when catastrophe strikes anywhere in North America, Mennonite volunteers are often called upon to help rebuild the damaged area. After a succession of disasters, thousands of Mennonite volunteers […]

Unger Suspicion

O.J. Simpson Flees Down L.A. Freeway in Mennonite Buggy

August 16, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA It was no white Ford Bronco this time. Just yesterday, former football and crime sensation OJ Simpson was spotted fleeing down the freeway in a Mennonite buggy, backing up traffic for miles […]

Unger & Thirst

Steak Temperature Guide (Mennonite Edition)

August 15, 2017 Andrew

Every year around this time, the Ungers have a lovely family gathering at one of the many parks named after a Barkman in Steinbach. Like always, Uncle Abe is responsible for cooking up the steaks. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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