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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Wife Offers Makeup Lessons

November 19, 2017 Andrew

BLUFFTON, OH Mrs. Alice Steiner, 52, piano teacher and pastor’s wife at East Bluffton Mennonite Church, has graciously agreed to offer makeup lessons to any and all parishioners who “need a few tips.” “I really […]

Unger Suspicion

Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast

November 18, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Manitobans were lined up outside the Legislative Building in Winnipeg this afternoon for their chance to get up close and personal with Brian Pallister’s broken left arm. Manitobans of all walks […]

The Daily Bonnet

How My Life Has Changed Since Menno-pause

November 18, 2017 Andrew

BY: PATRICIA YODER As much as we Mennonites like to resist change, we, too, are human and are not immune to biological changes. I first started noticing these changes in my late 40s. After speaking […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Declared Official Winner of The Mennonite Game

November 17, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Well, folks, it’s all over. After 500 years of fierce competition, Mrs. Doris Reimer of Abbotsford has officially won the Mennonite Game. Mrs. Reimer was declared the winner after successfully documenting her relation […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Storms Out of Jazz Club, Claiming “Far Too Much Sax”

November 16, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC Local man Peter Harder, 67, was so disgusted with a jazz performance in Vancouver this weekend that he stood up right in the middle of ‘St. Thomas’ and stormed out in a huff. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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