The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Population Completely Unaffected by Global Cyberattack

May 15, 2017 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN While millions of internet-users around the world were afflicted by the largest cyberattack in history this weekend, anthropologists have discovered a small group of people, affectionately known as “Mennonites,” who, for some reason, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Discovers Suspenders Are No Good for Bungee Jumping

May 15, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Local man Darrel P. Friesen, 41, discovered the hard way that your typical Mennonite suspenders from Wal-Mart are completely insufficient to use for bungee jumping. Mr. Friesen somehow managed to survive the fall, but […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Claps Along to Worship Song

May 14, 2017 Andrew

“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” – W.B. Yeats WINKLER, MB The Winkler EBBM Church was sent into a tizzy this past Sunday after local woman Sarah Martens […]

The Daily Bonnet

60-Year-Old Mennonite Woman Decides to Retire from Child-Bearing

May 14, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Now that she’s turned 60, Mrs. Martha Snyder, a Mennonite woman from Lancaster, has decided to hang up her cleats and retire from bearing any more children. “I’ve been pretty active at child-bearing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Survives Eating Fish Caught in Red River

May 13, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite the large quantities of raw sewage that’s routinely dumped into the river, local man Alexander Penner of North Kildonan decided that eating a fish caught in this delightfully polluted river was a […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 577 578 579 … 675 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Manitoba Man Prepares Ark for Annual Spring Thaw
    March 16, 2017
  • CFL Adds New ‘Mennonite Player Ratio’
    June 22, 2019
  • Donald Dueck Marries Daisy, Cousin Mickey Not Invited
    October 2, 2017
  • Vote Now To Determine Which Side is Jantsied!
    December 9, 2016
  • Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12
    August 7, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved