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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread

January 20, 2018 Andrew

YARROW, BC Having heard something of this whole “Tide Pod craze” from her grandchildren, Mrs. Neufeld of Yarrow, 69, decided to spice up the faspa last Sunday by adding a delightful selection of laundry detergent […]

Unger Suspicion

Under New Trudeau Law, All Christian Summer Camps to Be Turned into “Reeducation Camps”

January 19, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In order to address the “unacceptable diversity of opinions on social issues” in Canada, the Trudeau government has recently passed a law requiring all Bible camps to be shut down and re-opened as […]

Unger & Thirst

Top Local Chefs to Stage Fancy Dinner on Frozen Blumenort Lagoon

January 19, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Manitoba’s most famous chefs will be setting aside the comforts of high-end Winnipeg restaurants this winter for a three week pop-up restaurant on the frozen Blumenort lagoon. ‘COOKED: Blumenort’ will feature all the […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Mennonite Women Left Homeless After Tornado Strikes MCC Store

January 18, 2018 Andrew

KJRIESELSTORM, KS More than thirty Mennonite women have been left without any place to go after a tornado ripped through the heart of a local MCC Thrift Store yesterday afternoon. “They’re here all the time. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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