Mr. and Mrs. George and Aggie Brandt of Osler were held for questioning by the church board this week after pulling onto the parking lot of South Osler Mennonite with Aggie at the helm of their ’97 Taurus.
“What on earth were they thinking?” wondered Elder Krahn. “We haven’t seen this blatant disregard for the spiritual health of the congregation since Mrs. Wiebe wore flared pants to church back in the late 70s.”
Aggie just happened to grab the car keys that Sunday, but the congregation was certain her position behind the wheel meant grave things about the condition of their marriage.
“Was George sick? Was he somehow incapacitated?” pondered Krahn. “I can’t find any scriptural basis for women to take the leadership role in a marriage like this. It’s highly disturbing and I hope it’s not a sign of things to come.”
There was much questioning of George’s manhood and discussion about “who was wearing the pants” in the Brandt family. There were also some very strong suggestions that the couple go for counselling.
“If Pastor Dave’s marriage classes don’t fix this problem, there’s no hope for those Brandts,” said Krahn. “We haven’t had a woman drive onto the parking lot in the entire history of our church. I’m also really disappointed that George signed off on Aggie’s driver’s license.”
The congregation was so perturbed by the sight of a woman driving, that they voted overwhelmingly to go back to horse-and-buggy, provided that it was a man with the reins in his hands.
“Pants, driving, speaking of their own volition? What is the word coming to?” said Krahn. “The Devil sure puts crazy ideas into women’s heads sometimes.”
(photo credit: Bradley Gordon/CC)