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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Gangs of Nudists Swarm Winkler

September 5, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Inspired by a recent high-profile nearly-nude shopping trip at the local 7-11, swarms of nudists have taken to the streets of Winkler to express their free-spirited ways. “For decades I thought Morden was […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Honour Heritage of Labourious Spelling Today

September 4, 2017 Andrew

OUTTAWA, ON While our neighbours to the south take the day off today to celebrate the achievements of organized labour in a holiday known as ‘Labor Day,’ Canadians celebrate a completely different holiday called ‘Labour […]

Unger & Thirst

Morden Mennonites in Shock as Their Beloved Chicken Chef Now Fully Licensed

September 3, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Mennonites in the Morden area were in shock this past week as their beloved local Chicken Chef announced it was now a fully licensed restaurant. “Oba! I’m not sure we can leave the […]

Unger Suspicion

Bill Nye Totally Owned in Debate by Bible School Student

September 2, 2017 Andrew

PETERSBURG, KY After a rematch between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Creation Museum founder Ken Ham was cancelled due to scheduling conflicts, a Bible School student from rural Indiana took on Bill Nye and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Your 2019-2020 Mennonite School Supply List

September 2, 2017 Andrew

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Unger, Welcome to Friedensruh School. Prädja Enns and I are very happy to have your children Abe, Mary, Anne, Henry, Knels, Lina, Elizabeth, Ruth, Art, Sarah, Nettie, Johan, Martha, Benjamin, and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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