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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Royal Couple Name Newborn Baby “Prince Corny”

April 24, 2018 Andrew

LONDON, UK Well, the secret is out! William and Kate’s newborn baby boy, and fifth in line to the British crown, has been named “Prince Corny” after William’s distant cousin Corny Bueckert of Rosengart. Weighing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Find Out Which Cousin You Will Marry

April 23, 2018 Andrew

Plenty of online quizzes will tell you HOW SOON you’ll get married or in what month and other useless information like that. Only this Daily Bonnet chart will tell you which cousin you’ll marry. Let’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

April 22, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Why Every Single Winnipeg Jets Player is Actually a Mennonite

April 21, 2018 Andrew

I’m not much one for conspiracies, but I think something’s going on here. Much has been made of the fact that Finnish superstar Patrik Laine seems awfully Mennonite with his beard and teetotaling. However, if […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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