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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Caught “Enjoying Hot Wings” at Hooters

May 25, 2018 Andrew

MISHAWAKA, IN Local man Andreas Miller, 51, was spotted on social media in the background of a photo taken at the local Hooters restaurant. The photo was immediately brought to the attention of the pastor, […]

Unger Suspicion

Heintje to Perform at Faspa this Sunday

May 24, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After repeated requests from his Mennonite fans in southern Manitoba, Dutch recording star Heintje is set to perform at faspa this Sunday. Mrs. Bueckert, chairperson of the Altona Heintje Appreciation Society, was especially […]

Unger Suspicion

ABC Launches New Sitcom ‘Morden Family’

May 22, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Television executives at ABC just announced a new cutting edge sitcom entitled ‘Morden Family,’ which explores the lives of several Mennonite families in Morden, Manitoba learning their place in an ever changing world. […]

Unger Conviction

Entire Mennonite Town Becomes One Giant Escape Room

May 22, 2018 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENSCHULTZ, MB The small Mennonite village of Neuschanzenschultz, Manitoba has inadvertently become the world’s largest escape room after years of ostracizing and shunning any resident who steps out of line or thinks for themselves. “They […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Hockey Fan Emerges from House for the First Time in Many Months

May 21, 2018 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Local hockey fan Peter Klassen, 48, left his house for very first time in months, after the Winnipeg Jets lost to the Vegas Golden Nights on Sunday afternoon. “Ach, the light, the bright […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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