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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed

January 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mr. Klassen had plopped himself down for a nice meddachschlop this Sunday afternoon, when a steady stream of unexpected guests piled into the Klassen residence. While Mrs. Klassen politely invited the Fehrs, Wiebes, […]

Unger Conviction

New Pill Cures Hymnal Dysfunction

January 2, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN As Mennonite men age, many of them experience a decreased ability to hold a hymnal upright during the service. Doctors in Mountain Lake say Hymnal Dysfunction affects one in three men over […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Stocks Up On Discount Christmas Oranges For Next Year

January 1, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Harms, 71, of Chortitz is already stocking up on Mandarin oranges, pistachio pudding mix, salted peanuts and halva for next year’s Christmas celebration. “It’s absolute madness at the grocery store today,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

2018 Daily Bonnet Year in Review

December 31, 2018 Andrew

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you’re enjoying your New Year’s cookies! 2018 was another great year at the Daily Bonnet, and October actually was the highest month ever in terms of traffic to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke

December 30, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, AB After a routine traffic stop in the small village of Blumenort, Alberta, local man Mr. Wiens has been found to have Coke in his system. Wiens faces several charges including driving under the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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