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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Introduces New Social Network Called ‘Knipschat’

July 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB From the heart of the Mennonite Silicon Valley comes a brand new social network called ‘Knipschat.’ The new app allows users to post pictures of themselves knipsing, knitting, or knoodeling. “The best thing […]

Unger Conviction

Bible Camp Shuts Down After No One Memorizes Enough Verses to Attend

July 2, 2019 Andrew

LITTLE HAPPY MENNO BIBLE CAMP, ON Little Happy Menno Bible Camp in Northern Ontario has had to shut its doors this summer after not enough kids memorized their verses this year. “We kept lowering the […]

Unger Suspicion

Crazy Unpatriotic Canadian Celebrates 4th of July Three Days Early

July 1, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Concerned citizen Mr. Yoder of Lancaster is livid this week after discovering that Canadians celebrate the 4th of July a full three days early. “It’s disgusting! Those Canadians have no patriotism at all!” […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Lets Church Out Early So People Can Get to Chicken Chef

June 30, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Tired of always having to wait until for their rival EMMMCers to finish their meals, Pastor Dan at Morden MCMB decided to let church out early this week so that they could get […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Calls Her Coffee Break a ‘Menno Pause’

June 29, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Laurie Kehler, 31, of Saskatoon is enjoying her new job, especially since its right next to a Starbucks that she can easily access during her morning Menno Pause. “I get a twenty minute […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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