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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Local Paper Candidate Asking for Your Vote on Monday

October 20, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENBERG, SK After a vigorous campaign that involved getting a name on a ballot and laying about on a desk for the next six weeks, the local Paper candidate is hoping for your vote on […]

Unger Suspicion

Kevin Costner to Star in Epic $300 Million Film About Mennonites

October 19, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA In an effort to revive his stalling career, 90s Hollywood icon Kevin Costner has invested more than $300 million of his own money in a “totally epic” film about the Mennonites entitled Field of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Agrees to Annual Meddachschlop for Her Henry’s Birthday

October 18, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Funk, 61, had nearly forgotten about her promise for their annual meddachschlop this afternoon, until her Henry reminded her it was his birthday. “Ah, okay, yes, Henry, is it that time of […]

Unger Suspicion

Conservatives Run Actual Donkey in Mennonite Town, Still Confident of Victory

October 17, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENFELD, SK So confident in the partisan loyalty of Mennonite voters, the Conservative Party of Canada ran a literal donkey in the small Mennonite town of Kleineschantzenfeld and still expect to win 87% of the […]

Quizzes

How much do you know about Mennonite movies?

October 16, 2019 Andrew

Mennonites? Movies? It doesn’t give such! Oh, yes, it does. Mennonites have created and been depicted in film for almost as long as movies have existed. So, let’s see how well you know your Menno […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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