Caf-Lib a Top Seller at Hip New Mennonite Coffee Shop


Villagers in a small Mennonite town have been flocking to a new hip coffee shop called Oma’s Java Barn to get their hands on a cup of Oma’s delicious coffee substitute.

“They can’t get enough of this Caf-Lib,” said Oma. “Some of the MBs prefer Postum, but all the Kleine Gemeinde really go for Caf-Lib.”

Oma says only the hippest seniors patronize her store and some are willing to pay up to fifty cents a cup for a spoonful of ground chicory and a cup of hot water.

“Oba, yo! Sometimes they ask for a double-double, so I just throw in another teaspoon of Caf-Lib and a couple non-dairy creamers and call it a day,” said Oma. “I’ll even write Nettie or Heinrich on the cup if they ask for it.”

It is believed that Caf-Lib’s popularity among Mennonites stems from Elder Petkau’s 1893 proclamation against drug usage, which included the use of caffeine…either that or the seniors wanted to make sure they were well-rested so they could get up in time for the German service.

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