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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things to Expect Now that a Steinbacher is in Charge

September 1, 2021 Andrew

For the first time in 151 years a Steinbacher, Kelvin Goertzen, was sworn in as Manitoba Premier this morning, and many Winnipeggers are wondering just what to expect over the next sixty days of his […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Takes the Tractor to School

August 30, 2021 Andrew

From the archives BLUMENHOFF, MB The Bergmanns of the Blumenhoff area loaded up the Massey Ferguson this morning for the first day of classes at the old Blumenhoff School. “Got the Massey fired up, got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Plans to Review New Miriam Toews Book Without Even Having Read It

August 29, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though he has no intention of reading it, local man and avid Danny Orlis reader Mr. Klippenstein, 71, is absolutely certain he knows all there is to know about Miriam Toews’ new […]

Unger Suspicion

Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump

August 28, 2021 Andrew

FARGO, ND A new study shows that the overwhelming majority of anti-vax research occurs whilst the researcher is doing a number two. “We geolocated all the top anti-vax researchers and found almost all of them […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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