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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Carries on Longstanding Mennonite Tradition of Licking the Beaters

January 1, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Darryl Klassen, 43, of Swift Current is undergoing surgery this weekend to untangle his tongue from his mother’s hand mixer. “It’s been a tradition ever since I was five years old,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Daily Bonnet Articles of 2021

December 31, 2021 Andrew

2021, a year most of us would much rather forget. Alright, I’m with you there, but just in case you do want to remember a few moments, here’s the year that was – according to […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Mennonite Man Opts for Schintjefleesch Over Foarmaworsht

December 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Colin Berg is being hailed as “Steinbach’s most adventurous eater” this week after he went out on a limb and ordered the ham rather than the farmer sausage to accompany his vereniki. […]

Unger Games

World Junior Uno Tournament Cancelled

December 29, 2021 Andrew

RED DEER, AB After a surge in paper cuts and Hawkins Cheezies-coated fingers at the tournament in the MB church youth room in Red Deer this winter, the International Uno Federation has decided to cancel […]

The Daily Bonnet

Metaverse Allows Mennonites to Finally Experience Real Life

December 28, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Researchers at Fresno Pacific University have created a new metaverse for Mennonites, which forces participants to escape their cloistered Mennonite existence and face reality. “For centuries Mennonites have done everything in their power […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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